I think I owe you an apology. It’s
been about 11 weeks since I’ve posted anything and I feel like I broke a
promise. An ultimitely not-real promise that I never promised to anyone else
but myself but a promise none-the-less.
When I set out to start a blog, I
figured it would be a nice way to give myself a weekly writing assignment with
a casual deadline that would light enough of a fire under me to get myself to
become a disciplined, focused and productive writer. Well instead, as it turns
out, the reality is that it has just added one more thing to my plate that I’m
failing to eat and it’s making me feel like a miserable failure! Great!
What’s the
problem, you may ask? Well, I’ll tell you! It’s trying to make a fucking decision
about what to write about! That’s the problem! And I just said “about” twice in
the same sentence! So grammar is my
problem too, apparently.
Yes, I
could have posted about the election. But did we, as a society need another
article about the election? Way more in depth features were written by much more
politically savvy people than I. Many more heartfelt and poignant rants were
posted by much angrier people than I. And every professional comedian had an
undeniably more unique and hilarious take on the situation than I.
I could have written about any
myriad of Thanksgiving, Christmas or general holiday thoughts. I could’ve
written about auditions and the life of an actor, how excited I am about Star
Wars, how much my son is lamenting that he doesn’t have a Boston accent. I have
so many things to say and yet I have no idea how to decide what to spend my
time writing about!
As it turns out, I checked my birth
records and at an early age I was diagnosed with the mutant power of crippling
indecision. From coffee to dinner to socks to t-shirts, my days are filled with
“which pair of underwear should I wear today” type decisions that ultimately
mean nothing but take agonizing minutes out of my free time, in a way that
leaves me with nothing to show for my efforts (except, of course, hopefully
actually getting that pair of underwear on). I sometimes can’t even decide
which TV show to watch which ultimately leads me down the road of not having
watched anything.
What I’m trying to say to you is
that I am keeping my blog (I probably will take it off of my email signature
though), but my posts won’t be every week, like I said at first. And they may
not even mean anything at all when they do come. But I needed to say all of
this, not just for me, but for anyone else out there who is inflicted with this
indecisive behavior and knows what it’s like to really not know if you’re in
the mood for fucking Italian or Chinese food or pudding on a regular basis. I
feel like just getting this message to you is something anyway and in this new
Trump Era that is now upon us, every little thing can help.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going
to go ahead and save this post and let it sit on my desktop until I make a
decision on whether or not I should even post it. [At the time of this posting, it had been
sitting on said desktop for 5 weeks.]
